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 100 WAYS TO ANNOY EDWARD CULLEN...

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hannah141627
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PostSubject: 100 WAYS TO ANNOY EDWARD CULLEN...   Sun Feb 08, 2009 3:50 pm

Ok so I found loads of these but these are my favourite 100 in no specific order

100 ways to annoy Edward Cullen
1. Tell him Bella has decided to marry Jacob
2. Tell him you saw Mike Newton romancing Bella on one of thse days he went *camping
3. Imagine him naked while following him around
4. Prance around the house singing Madonna's 'Like a virgin' at the top of your lungs every morning, make sure Bella is around to hear
5. Running it by Charlie that Edward has been 'sleeping' with Bella for the past 2 years, at the wedding reception.
6. Smear your blood all over his new car freshener. Blame it on Jacob
7. Show him the twilight trailer. Ask him if he's thinks that he looks like a pedophile or if it's just you.
8. Tell him Bella wants to elope with Paul
9. For his birthday give him a $100 McDonalds gift card, and get offended when he tells you he doesn't eat food.
10. Ask him why he likes watching Bella sleep. Call him a pervert.
11. Take him to Victoria's Secret with Alice.
12. Take him onto The Jeremy Kyle show. Make sure everyone knows he addicted to heroin.
13. Tell him you have Bella as a witness if he denies it.
14. Picture yourself naked and covered in blood. Ask him if he wants you. Call him a liar when he says no.
15. Tell him Bella is pregnant and eloping with Mike Newton.
16. Tell him you were kidding once he murders Mike.
17. Buy him a dog. Name it Jacob.
18. Train the dog to follow him everywhere
19. Tell him Jacob thinks he's a sex god.
20. Tell him Jane thinks he's better than a sex god.
21. Ask him if when its sunny he walks in high trafic areas just for fun.
22. Ask him how he got into bella's floor boards without leaving any evidence.
23. Sell Jacob his car for five dollars.
24. Pretend you don't know where the car went and show him the five dollars saying it was left on his porch.
25. Ask him to dress up as Dracula and fight with Jacob in his wolf form.
26. Invite people over to his house and trash it.
27. Tell Esme and Carlisle it was Edwards idea.
28. Try to seel his bed on ebay
29. If he asks where it's gone ask him why he need a bed anyway
30. Try to sell his Cd's on ebay.
31. If he asks where they went say Jacob stole them.
32. Try to take his pulse and freak out when you can't find one
33. Make a lifelike Bella dummy (with Bella audio) and throw it into a fire.
34. Volunteer him for a blood drive.
35. Give him a divorce atterny card and say, "Just in case."
36. Force him to watch the 40-Year-Old Virgin with you. Send him accusational glares at random throughout the film.
37. Lock his phone after you set Me So Horny by Two Live Crew as the ringtone and then call him over and over and over again in public. (for those of you that don't know the song, there's awful loud moaning sounds while they chant me so horny over and over again.)
38.Get a shock collar with sequins on it and have Emmett put it on Edward. Give Jacob the remote.
39. Every time he walks near you jump in front of the nearest car and scream "Save me Edward!"
40. Challenge him to a breath holding contest and accuse him of cheating.
41. Blindfold him and take him to a tanning salon.
42. Jump out of corners and proceed to beating him with large planks of wood every ten minutes
43. Sit in his room and stare at him for hours.
44. When he demands why you're staring at him tell him that you're not leaving until he falls asleep.
45. When he tells you he can't sleep, threaten that Santa won't come if he stays awake.
46. Paint his Volvo pink and write “I love Jacob” all over it
47. Sing "It’s a Small World" over and over in your head and follow him around
48. Give his number to Jessica and tell her, he’s interested
49.Ask him about Bella’s eighteenth birthday party
50. Just think of the color black when he's around so he thinks he can't read your mind either.
51. Refer to him as "Eddie".
52. Prank call him saying you have kidnapped Bella and will only accept his volvo as ransom.
53. Sing 'I know a song that'll get on your nerves' in your head continually, over and over again, he'll go insane in less then three hours guarenteed
54. Come to school wearing dark robes, red/black contacts, and white makeup. Go up to Edward. Claim to be from the Volturi, and ask him where Bella is.
55. Get Carlisle to have "The Talk" with him.
56. Torch his meadow.
57. Run around the school with flyers that say "Save the Mountain Lion!"
58. Set the banner on Bella's cellphone to I love Jacob.
59. Do the same thing to his.
60. Say, "Oh you and Bella looked so cute at the movies yesterday" and when he says that they never went to the movies say, "Oh, but I'm sure it was Bella, and she was all over that other guy."
61. Tell him Darth Vader is his father
62. Run around the school shouting, 'EDWARD CULLEN IS A VIRGIN'
63. Make Bella president of the La Push Cliff Diving Society
64. Randomly run up with a stake yelling "Die, fiend!"
65. Superglue Bella's window shut.
66. In front of Nessie, say aren't you glad you didn't kill the little brat.
67. Remind him that Jacob and Nessie are eventually going to...well you know.
68. Say, "wow, you lost your virginity at 107 and your daughter is going to lose hers at 7...to the guy who was in love with your wife
69. Every time you take a picture of him, ask him if he'll show up when you print it out.
70. Before you print it out, photoshop it so he doesn't show up in it.Print it out and show it to him.
71. Continually poke him with a pencil muttering quietly about how it's the closest thing to a wooden stake you can get.
72. For his birthday, buy him spray-on tan.
73. Tell him you think it's great that he gave Bella up to Jake. When he asks you what you're talking about, say "uh...I've already said too much." and run away.
74. After Bella dumps him for killing Jacob, tell him it was a misunderstanding, and that Bella and Jacob were never together.
75. Cover his yard with "Beware of Vampire" signs.
76. Make an "I love Jacob" website and say Bella made it.
77. Tell him he didn't steal Bella's virginity, Jacob did.
78. Tell him that Nessie is Jaspers daughter.
79. When you 'discover' he's a vampire, throw holy water on him and shout,"The power of Christ compels you!"
80. Hotwire his Volvo and take it on a joyride.
81. Tell him the relationship he is having with Bella is practically paedophilia and he could be sent to jail for it.
82. Tell Tanya Edward has decided to take her back
83. End every argument with “Bite me, Edward.”
84. Whenever he complains or argues, reply with “What are you gonna do Edward? Go to Italy?”
85. Take his silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Like a Virgin” by Madonna.
86. Run around with a lighter threatenign to set him on fire if he comes any closer.
87. Ask him to turn you into a vampire, beg and plead when he says no... then threaten Bella's life. When he agrees say I can't wait till Bella hears about this. Once he has bitten you scream in agony and cry asking him how he could do this to a perfect little girl like me?
88. Once you change into a vampire, tell Edwrd you bit Bella, saying he was right and Bella' blood does smell amazing and you couldn't resist, sorry.
89. Push him into the sun and start o sing Diamonds are a girl's best friend
90. Throw garlic at him while screaming die die die
91. Shove him over the boundary line
92. Stab him with a pencil
93. Stare at him for ages. When he asks what tour doing ask him if he's that guy from Harry Potter
94. Drive slow
95. When he tells you him and Bella are gettng married get up and go OMG Bella are you pregnant
96. Buy him and Bella matching Team Jacob t-shirts
97. Put love notes into his locker and sign them Jacob Black
98. Sing at the top of your voice.... Bella and Edward sitting in a tree. H-U-N-T-I-N-G!
99. Invite the whole La Push pack to his wedding. When he gets upset cry and say you were only trying to help
100. Read New Moon and talk about it whenever he is around
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chloerazza
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PostSubject: Re: 100 WAYS TO ANNOY EDWARD CULLEN...   Tue Feb 10, 2009 7:08 pm

ok im completely team edward, but damn that was funny!
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Lusty
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PostSubject: Re: 100 WAYS TO ANNOY EDWARD CULLEN...   Tue Feb 10, 2009 9:40 pm

LMAO!
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danixsaur
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PostSubject: Re: 100 WAYS TO ANNOY EDWARD CULLEN...   Wed Feb 11, 2009 8:53 am

awwh, he's too sexy to be mean to. Especialy since he could rip you're head clean off. Some of those were funny tho.
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TeamVampire
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PostSubject: Re: 100 WAYS TO ANNOY EDWARD CULLEN...   Sun Aug 09, 2009 10:31 am

i find this hilarious xD
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hannah141627
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PostSubject: Re: 100 WAYS TO ANNOY EDWARD CULLEN...   Wed Aug 19, 2009 8:03 am

i'm team edward too but these made me lol
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teamswitzerland16
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PostSubject: Re: 100 WAYS TO ANNOY EDWARD CULLEN...   Mon Jul 12, 2010 4:18 am

Haha! i love the list! lmao It's soo funny! where didi you get the list????
?
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teamswitzerland16
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PostSubject: Re: 100 WAYS TO ANNOY EDWARD CULLEN...   Mon Jul 12, 2010 4:20 am

I found another type of those things but it's 101 Ways To Annoy Edward Cullen i hope you like it!!
101 Ways To Annoy Edward Cullen:

1. Call him Eddy, all the time
2. Give yourself a paper cut and make a point of showing him the blood, then put it in your mouth. Say, “Mmmm, Delicious! Want some?”
3. Say “you don’t look that scary”
4. Use vampire expression like “holy Dracula” and “good bye sweet Transylvania”
5. Visualize yourself naked
6. Ask him to help you do something impossible (save the world, build an atomic clock, help you with your calculus ect). When he has trouble say “never mind, I’m sure Jacob could help me”
7. Drive REALLY slow
8. Volunteer him for a blood drive
9. Hold up a bottle of ketchup and say, “look!! BLOOOOOD OOOOOOOO”
10. Hang posters that say “I support Jacob Black” and “Jacob Black for President” All over his room
11. Throw him to the crazy fan girl hordes.
12. Tie Bella to some railroad tracks. When he gets mad, say, “Wow, a little overprotective, aren’t we? I’m sure Jacob wouldn’t have a problem with this.”
13. Say, “Hey, aren’t you that guy from Harry Potter?”
14. Tell him that Emmet is a cooler vampire than him.
15. Tell him that Jane has the coolest vampire power. Mention that it’s significantly better than mind reading.
16. Continually suggest that he’d be better off eating Bella, rather than dating her.
17. Mention that he isn’t a real vampire.
18. When flying on an airplane, say, “If this plane crashes on an island, we eat Bella first.”
19. Suggest that his life is too stressful. Recommend aromatherapy.
20. When he announces his wedding, say “Why? Is Bella pregnant?”
21. Leave bloody dead animals around him. Insist that you’re helping with the aromatherapy.
22. Invite Jacob’s whole family to the wedding. When he gets mad, say, “I was just trying to help.”
23. Invite the Volturi to the wedding.
24. Make a list of the ways that werewolves are cooler than vampires. Show it to him. Act offended when he gets mad.
25. Tell him that he’s too closed-minded: he needs to welcome people of all cultures into his life.
26. Talk in Ebonics.
27. Tell him to “bear in mind other people’s thoughts.”
28. Kidnap Bella. When he asks where she is, say, “Don’t worry about it.”
29. When he threatens to kill you, say, “Now, now, aren’t we being a little hasty?”
30. When he really is going to kill you, blame Alice. Say she took her to LA to go shopping.
31. Poke him.
32. When he talks about how painful his transformation was, say, “Oh, yeah, your life is soooo hard.”
33. When he talks about how much he loves Bella, say, “Aren’t you a little young to know what love is? Maybe you should wait till you’re a few years older.”
34. Make Bella wear a team Jacob shirt.
35. Suggest that he and Bella take some time off to “see other people.” Recommend Jessica Stanley for him.
36. Run over his Volvo with Bella’s truck.
37. While he’s listening, tell Bella she deserves something better.
38. Invite him to go to the beach with you.
39. Read the back of the Twilight books to him. Bonus points for using a dramatic announcer voice.
40. Blame him for all of Bella’s past injuries.
41. Constantly hint at how good Bella must smell.
42. Visualize his life in 20 years. SUV, suburban house, 12 kids.
43. Laugh when Bella trips. Loudly.
44. Shine a bright light in his face. Say, “Darnit, you didn’t go all sparkly.”
45. Buy a copy of Breaking Dawn on the black market. Tell him he dies at the end.
46. Ask him where he buys his body glitter.
47. Suggest self-tanner.
48. When Bella says how much she loves him, think then why was she making out with Jacob down at La Push yesterday?
49. When he gets mad, innocently say, “I didn’t say anything.”
50. Point out the circles under his eyes. Tell him to get more sleep.
51. Offer to lend him your concealer.
52. Withdraw the offer. Tell him that he’s too pale for this shade.
53. Suggest that a week in the tropics would do him good.
54. Tell him that we’re getting tired of his “scary” act.
55. Redecorate his room in a Care-bear theme.
56. Tell him that it will help him be happy.
57. Buy him a wolf plushie.
58. Turn his piano into a craps table.
59. Suggest that he try harder to make new friends.
60. Tell him that he should hang out with Mike Newton more often.
61. Put pretty bows in his hair while he’s distracted.
62. Tell him that pretending to sleep would make him sympathize with the humans more.
63. Cook delicious-looking meals. When he won’t eat them, get offended. Tell him “I put my sweat and blood into that meal!”
64. Suggest the same stupid plan over and over again. When he gets mad, say, “Well now, who got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning…oh, wait!”
65. Tell him he could up his cool if he went out for football. Or Track.
66. Wear tinfoil on your head. When he asks why, tell him that people are always trying to read your mind.
67. Give yourself a paper-cut in front of Jasper.
68. When he attacks, say, “Bad, dog, down!”
69. Suggest that they keep Jasper in the back yard. “If he can’t be civilized, well…”
70. Push Bella in front of a bus.
71. Pour ketchup on Bella.
72. Ask him to sign your copy of Twilight.
73. Wonder loudly to yourself what The Souls are going to do with the Cullen’s when they invade.
74. Plant daisies in his house.
75. Break all of his CDs.
76. Take Bella shopping. Accidentally leave her at the mall.
77. Crash his wedding.
78. When he plans his wedding, say, “Who’s going to come? You know like four people.”
79. Whenever he comes into the room, start mentally singing the ‘Gilligan’s Island’ theme song.
80. When he tells you to stop, say, “Stop what?”
81. Take all of his CD’s. Replace them with songs from Disney movies.
82. Tell him that he and Bella should go on more ‘real dates.’
83. Ask him if he’s planning on having a vampire attack Bella every spring break. Mention that you know someone who would be willing to help this year.
84. Make a list of reasons why Bella should leave him. Make sure that you have one of them be, “Jacob. Enough said.”
85. Roll in glitter. Run around saying, “Look at me! I’m Edward! I’m Edward!”
86. Write him love poems. Sign them from Jacob.
87. Tell him that it’s perfectly acceptable to be an ‘alternative couple’ with Jacob.
88. Diagram a love triangle: Edward <3 Jacob. Jacob <3 Bella. Bella <3 Edward.
89. When he plans his wedding, say, “You know, the leading cause of divorce is marrying too young.”
90. Suggest that the Cullen’s have more “family meetings.” Make a point not to invite Bella.
91. Tell Bella that her cooking skills will be wasted if she marries him.
92. Ask him if he’ll still love Bella once she’s a vampire and not clumsy anymore.
93. Give him your Divorce attorney’s card. Tell him it’s “Just in case.”
94. Skip around the house chanting, “Edward and Bella, sitting in a tree.”
95. Diagnose him randomly. “Maybe you have sleep apnea.” “You look anemic. Have you been getting enough red meat?” “Maybe it’s a vitamin D deficiency.” Ask Carlisle to back your suggestions up.
96. Invite small children to his house for ‘scary story time’.
97. Paint his room. Pink.
98. Ask if you’re going to be in the wedding party. Repeatedly. And frequently.
99. Wonder what to get him for a wedding present. “A mattress topper? No, that won’t work. A blender? No, wait…oh! A trip to Hawaii. Oh, never mind…”
100. Wave wooden crosses and strings of garlic at him randomly. When he asks what you’re doing, say, “I know I read this somewhere.”
101. Mail him a llama. When he asks why, say, “Why not?”
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